Content: Rookie Blue

I've always had a special place in my heart for cop dramas; I blame growing up watching things like Hunter, 21 Jump Street, and most damning of all the "Mathnet" segments of Square One Television. Combine that with my abject summer boredom and my continued quest for show diversification/new material, and you might understand why I've decided to start recapping this new summer police drama, which is very nearly as anvillicious as any Power Rangers episode I've written about.

It also helps that the eponymous rookies include a ho, a vampire, a big dumb idiot who's basically there just to look pretty, a former emo/indie heartthrob turned triggerhappy budding psychopath, and a Mary Sue to lead them. Throw in the same Canadian aversion to subtlety that was rampant on Queer As Folk, and you have a show that's really just asking for it.

...And yes, there is a part of me that is hoping to see Epstein take Diaz's anal virginity while Nash decapitates Peck with her hooker knife and McNally drives a stake through her undead heart. I ain't proud.

Content: RuPaul's Drag Race

I've spent most of my "career" as a recapper doing kid's shows, because no one really recaps them. Of course, I do watch other things on TV because I'm [REDACTED] years old. RuPaul's Drag Race is one of these.

I went through my phase of hating anything reality TV-oriented (of course that was back in the day when reality TV was new), and I recognize that the people who read my crap might not necessarily be interested in reading recaps of such a competition. In its defense, all I can offer is this: RuPaul is nice, and funny, and any competition in which eliminations are decided by lip-synching contests is just worth watching. Especially when it involves wigs being torn off and Mortal Kombat-like dance battles. Trust me - RDR is just frickin' amazing.

Content: Power Rangers

The Power Rangers franchise has always been an easy target to make fun of, but after 7 years of writing scathing reviews of the show, I flatter myself to think that I do it with a certain flair. This show has been part of my life since I was 13 years old - kind of like an STD that won't go away - and it's where I got my start as a bitchy recapper.

It's been reduced to fuckhacked reruns now, and it may or may not return to producing new episodes and series. But until it does, I may occasionally feel the need to vent my wrath on the many years' worth of episodes I have yet to review.