Once upon a time a ho, a vampire, a himbo, your ex-jailbait boyfriend, and a Mary Sue went to the police academy, and they were each assigned rather unexceptional duties and questionably competent training officers. Except for the Mary Sue, of course, who got to save the day singlehandedly and get caught in a love triangle between a swarthy jackass and Whitney from Smallville. But I took the time to watch their TV show, and now they must all suffer my snarky ire. My name is ASLogan. I bitch-slap bad TV.
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Content: Rookie Blue
I've always had a special place in my heart for cop dramas; I blame growing up watching things like Hunter, 21 Jump Street, and most damning of all the "Mathnet" segments of Square One Television. Combine that with my abject summer boredom and my continued quest for show diversification/new material, and you might understand why I've decided to start recapping this new summer police drama, which is very nearly as anvillicious as any Power Rangers episode I've written about.
It also helps that the eponymous rookies include a ho, a vampire, a big dumb idiot who's basically there just to look pretty, a former emo/indie heartthrob turned triggerhappy budding psychopath, and a Mary Sue to lead them. Throw in the same Canadian aversion to subtlety that was rampant on Queer As Folk, and you have a show that's really just asking for it.
...And yes, there is a part of me that is hoping to see Epstein take Diaz's anal virginity while Nash decapitates Peck with her hooker knife and McNally drives a stake through her undead heart. I ain't proud.
It also helps that the eponymous rookies include a ho, a vampire, a big dumb idiot who's basically there just to look pretty, a former emo/indie heartthrob turned triggerhappy budding psychopath, and a Mary Sue to lead them. Throw in the same Canadian aversion to subtlety that was rampant on Queer As Folk, and you have a show that's really just asking for it.
...And yes, there is a part of me that is hoping to see Epstein take Diaz's anal virginity while Nash decapitates Peck with her hooker knife and McNally drives a stake through her undead heart. I ain't proud.
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